Changes and Expectation

The news of Iphigenia’s death nearly killed me. And to be perfectly honest, I still think that it does have the possibility to kill me. Without the companionship of Aegisthus, I know that I would not have made it to this point. Iphigenia’s death was too much to bear for just a relative, let alone a mother. Aegisthus wouldn’t let me dwell on it. He assured me that things would work themselves out in some way…that they always do. Perhaps. Although I really have no idea how I will ever be able to face my husband again. What he did is certainly unforgiveable and the fact that this decision he made was by choice is eating at me. How could a man knowingly sacrifice his own daughter in exchange for something? Pride has always been both a blessing and a curse to him.

Enough about Agamemnon!

I have something to confess. What started off as a platonic relationship based on empathy with Aegisthus, has progressed to a more romantic relationship, I suppose is the best way to describe it. I am only able to talk about this here as it’s a clearly sensitive matter. How would it look to the villagers? The Queen of Argos cheats on her "brave and cunning" husband while he is away at war. I do have a reputation to protect, despite it all. And admittedly, the situation doesn’t look favorable from a third set of eyes.

I honestly don’t think I can even describe the events leading up to this point in time, it just happened so quickly that I didn’t even have time to think about it. Aegisthus has helped me feel again. After such a long time of feeling absolutely nothing, he’s put butterflies in my stomach that feel like they’ve awoken from some sort of seasonal hibernation. I remember feeling like this with Agamemnon several years ago and those feelings have faded drastically over the years. It’s hard to believe that it took something like Iphigenia’s death to make me feel alive. Irony at its finest. Perhaps her death is the catalyst I needed in order to move out of the shade of complacency I've found myself in.

Who am I kidding though, really? I am the Queen of Argos. I have expectations placed upon me. And leaving Agamemnon would only bring myself and my other children shame. I don’t know what will happen in the future, but I know that I refuse to stop seeing Aegisthus. We’ll deal with the unknowns when Agamemnon returns…whenever that may be.